Finally, a little progress!

The scale FINALLY moved in the right direction. I lost 2 pounds this week which is exactly what I was hoping for. I didn't even suffer! I cut back on my carbs but still had pizza - just half the amount I normally would. I even ran again yesterday though it was a bad one. I was out of breath and slow even though I was on a treadmill in a nice, cool gym but that's what happens when you skip days. I realized I was being a little hard on myself because it was almost 2 miles and that's a pretty decent distance for a busy Thursday.

I'm blogging about my weight loss today in the hopes it will carry me through the weekend and keep me honest with my eating. I can easily put that back on over the weekend but I'm challenging myself to keep it off and start a new, healthy week 2 pounds lighter. I have 4:30 Bikram this afternoon which is always a great start to the weekend. I can also keep myself busy with some exercise, some gardening and lots of food prep for the week ahead.

Happy Friday everyone!

Portions and positivity

That is the mantra for the week.

We were away for a crazy weekend of debauchery in Savannah, then Jacksonville to see USA vs. Scotland in soccer so I got my fill of eating and drinking for a while. I'm ready to buckle down again since my big 10k is a month away.
My husband is Scottish and was supporting Scotland. I was cheering for the U.S. (who won by the way!) though the Scottish fans are a lot more fun!



Portions
I realized that while I haven't been eating badly, I've been eating a LOT and it's time to gain control of my portions and be REALLY honest about it. It's one of those things that's not really all that hard but can get really out of control if you stop paying attention.

Positivity
I've been really struggling with this lately. I'm one of the most optimistic people in the world and lately, it's been non-existent. I hate what I see in the mirror. I hate that I have nothing to wear and it's summertime. We went out to an art show a few weeks ago and I was wearing a tshirt and yoga pants because it's all I had that fit right. We picked up some friends on the way and they were all dressed up in cute tank tops and jeans. I felt so dumpy I cried. Luckily I had sunglasses on and I don't think anyone noticed. It makes me sad that I feel this way yet it's still not enough for me to give it my absolute best effort?!?!?

I went back to yoga last night after not going for a few weeks and I already feel so much more positive. I was talking to one of the few men that are regulars about how I hadn't been in a while and neither had he. Just before we started, I was stretching out and he came over, kneeled down at my mat and said "it only takes one class and you'll be back on track." He must have seen the fear on my face as I realized how stiff I was. That left me with a huge smile on my face through the whole class. At the end, my instructor reminded us to be thankful and proud because most people you pulled of the street would not be able to do a 90 minute hot yoga class. She's totally right and that's what's keeping me going right now.

This post is kind of a boring brain dump but I think it's important for me to acknowledge the not-so-good times as well as the good times!

Deflated

I'm in this hateful pattern right now of making one step forward and falling 3 steps back. I was ALL geared up for my 5k on Saturday even though I didn't work out for most of the week due to a ridiculous work schedule. I woke up at 1am with a just about the worst headache I've ever had and then vomited for the next 8 hours. As my alarm went off, there I was, sitting on the bathroom floor looking at my running clothes all laid out. There was absolutely no way I was going.

This has happened to me about 5 times in the last year and a half and after doing some research, I can only attribute it to dehydration maybe combined with stress? I've never had migraines before but I'm sure this is what they feel like. I'll guess I'll go see the doctor about it at this point along with all my other ailments. In the meantime, I'm drinking all the smart water and Powerade zero I can handle.

Tuesday, I didn't go to yoga because I looked like crap. What kind of excuse is that? Definitely not like me at all. I blamed that one on hormones but again, no excuse.

I'm being challenged and losing which makes me tired of fighting.

Am I meant to be the athlete I want to be? Maybe it's just not in the cards for some of us.

Am I stuck with my 200+ pounds body and that's just the way it is?
I don't know if I can accept that but I'm sure tired of dragging and extra person around with me. No wonder running is hard.

I'm not giving up. I don't have a choice if I want to live a long life with my amazing husband but it sure would be nice if it could be just a little easier.


Monday Mix Tape

10K training week 3:
After stressing about it from Thursday onward, I woke up on Saturday at 6am to pouring rain and lightning and I have to say I was a little relieved! I was ridiculously sore from the weeks workouts and it felt great to get a little extra sleep. I still made myself go to the gym and do a 5k on the treadmill which seemed so easy after training outside for the last few weeks!
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Aches, pains and whatnot:
Now that my foot is fixed, my left shoulder has decided to act up. It could be arthritis, tendonitis, or a rotator cuff injury. I won't know until I see a specialist. I guess I'll just go back to the orthopedic practice and ask for the shoulder specialist since the foot specialist cured me. They should have a "frequent shopper" program where the 10th visit is free or something :)

As if I wasn't feeling old enough, night sweats have started. (heavy sigh)
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Things that make you think:
I'm so proud of my friend Crys who just had a gastric bypass and is home recovering. This has been a huge step for her and something I've thought about a million times and am WAY too afraid to take on.
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Weight loss?
I don't even know what that means anymore it's been so long. It's so frustrating working out 5-6 days a week and seeing no progress on the scale. It's time to do something drastic but I'm not sure what that is yet. Vegan diet? Endocrinologist? Nutritionist? Juice Fast?
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The week ahead
I have a full week of workouts planned and a 5K on Saturday. I'm not even nervous about it (yet!!)

Have a great week everyone!

10K training week 2

Hi all! Here to say that I survived my second Saturday run with my new group. It's getting a little easier to talk to people but the slowest are dropping away so I'm pretty at the back of the pack. I had set an intention for my yoga practice the night before that consisted of two words. Calm and courage. I promised myself I would carry that with me for the morning run and it helped some. I still felt a little panicky and barely slept but it was ever so slightly better than last week.

What I WASN'T doing was keeping up with the training plan during the week and quickly realized that if I'm going to stick with this group, I'm going to need to practice. I still get desperately out of breath, to the point where people ask me if I'm okay which doesn't help with the anxiety of it all. It's from allergies, lack of cardio and carrying around a bunch of extra weight and nothing is going to change that except pushing myself to do it every day!

This morning it was hard but I'm proud to say I did it. I woke up at 6, had some coffee (which I'm not sure is a good idea?!) and then set out to do a 5k. I thought the whole way around the golf course was a 5k and turned out it was 3.9 miles according to my Nike+. I didn't believe it so I mapped it on google pedometer and it was pretty close. What a great surprise! There are a few hills I walked but I challenged myself to keep running on the smaller hills. There is nothing in the world like that shower after a tough morning workout.

Here's to a great week!

The fastest of the slowest

Thanks to all who have made me feel better about starting my running group - it wasn't bad. In fact, it was good! I was not the fattest, nor the slowest as feared. I was the fastest of the slow group which sounds much better than the slowest of the intermediate group. I really was dead in the middle of the two, by myself, and aside from gasping for air on the hills, it was great. We did about 3 miles. The coaches are fun and it really spans ALL levels. It will be interesting to see who keeps coming. I slept badly since I was nervous and woke up every hour looking at the clock. I HATE getting up at 6 am on a Saturday but I can do anything for 11 weeks. We're already 1 week down! Afterwards I wanted carbs desperately of course there was a bagel shop in the shopping center where we met, but I felt so good about my accomplishments that I went and got a spinach smoothie instead. It's a beautiful day in the ATL and I'm going to put some of this extra energy into the garden! Have a great weekend everyone!

Please forgive my lack of blogging....

I was here
We were supposed to be in Scotland but we were flying standby and all the flights got full so we re-packed and went to Key West. This is a sandbar in the Atlantic which we got to by jet ski.

It was a great trip but I'm happy to be back to normal. Even though lost 3 lbs by biking 15 miles a day and then even more walking, I drank a TON and will be detoxing for a while.

We couldn't necessarily afford this trip but I figured it was a much needed break before starting a new chapter in my life (yet again!) I'm going back to work part-time for the agency I've been working with on a freelance basis. I'll be there 9-2 every day and then come home to do all my other freelance work. I will have to adjust to the new routine but the steady pay is something I'm really looking forward to.

and the biggest, scariest part of it all...

my running group - the official training for the Peachtree, starts saturday morning at 7:30
I'm absolutely terrified. I may end up being the largest and the slowest but that hasn't stopped me before so I guess it shouldn't now. I feel a little better after getting an email from the coach asking us all about ourselves, our fitness levels etc. so they will know they have a 200+ pound beginner on their hands. At least I can run/walk a 5k without dying and not necessarily starting from scratch. Also, it's put on by the Atlanta Track Club who is a very reputable organization that seems to cater to and respect all abilities.

See? I just talked myself out of being so scared right here in the blogosphere. I have to remember how helpful it is to blog about it all and keep doing it. I promise I will keep y'all posted on my progress. Good and bad!




I "won"?


So, I found out this morning I won a number in the Peachtree Road Race this year. It's the largest 10K in the world and I will be running with 59,999 other people, up hill, in the 90ish degree heat. Suddenly it doesn't seem like much of a "win" but I promised myself that if I was lucky enough to get in, I had to do it.

I think that I'm going to participate in the official 11 week training program that meets on Saturday mornings at 7:30. It will keep me accountable (that is key for me!) and hopefully help me build some confidence. Plus, I've always wanted to join a running group!

I started running again after 5 weeks off (it was supposed to be 6 but I couldn't take it anymore) and it feels so good! I did a 5k on Friday then 2.5 miles today with ZERO pain in my foot. My quads, now that's another story! :) I didn't fall too far behind and I think my work with my trainer, hours on the elliptical and yoga really helped that. I'm glad I didn't just give it all up for that long!

This should make for an interesting summer!

Down but not out!

Just wanted to let y'all know that I've been down with a cold and we're having the worst pollen season in Atlanta history which means a head that feels like concrete. In fact, the air resembles my favorite post-workout treatI'm still drinking my veggie smoothies twice a day which is starting to taste more and more like dirt so I'm going to have to mix it up a bit. I have yet to buy a VitaMix or a juicer because I can't decide between the two. Either way, they aren't cheap so it's going to have to wait a little while. Luckily I have a wonderful juice place halfway between my trainers studio and my house and I treat myself twice a week to their spinach slam which has mango and pineapple. Delish!!

The scale? Not moving as per usual. I was hoping the juice would be the secret but nothing seems to work. And yes, I'm getting REALLY depressed about it. There IS some light at the end of the tunnel. I can run again in 2 weeks and my foot feels great and I'm feeling pretty energetic despite the pollen (it's from all that spinach!) I know what I need to do - that energy needs to be used for MORE cardio. Ugh! Can't we just do yoga and pilates? :)