As I've been saying for the last few weeks, blogging is helping me dig deeper into my issues regarding my weight loss efforts. This being honest with myself is VERY new to me!

This morning I was laying in bed asking myself WHY I didn't want to get up and exercise. What was it that was keeping me in bed? I was awake and didn't still didn't want to so I dug a little deeper. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

When I'm out of breath I'm afraid.

I lost my father when he was 49 from a cardiac arrhythmia. He struggled with his weight his entire life. I always think "I'm next". When I have an anxiety attack, which isn't very often, It makes my heart beat fast which makes me afraid which makes it worse.

Maybe this issue requires therapy. I've tried it in the past and I don't know if it works for me because I generally have an awesome life.

Maybe I need a full cardiology workup since my husband works for one of the best in the country. My dad had that though and it obviously didn't help.

I wonder if there is anything that will put my mind at ease.

Have any of you ever experienced this? If so, is there anything you've done to get past it?

I know that sitting here typing and staring down at my fat stomach isn't helping but at least there are workout clothes wrapped around the fat gut ready for a good walk at lunch. Fear or no fear.