I'm in this hateful pattern right now of making one step forward and falling 3 steps back. I was ALL geared up for my 5k on Saturday even though I didn't work out for most of the week due to a ridiculous work schedule. I woke up at 1am with a just about the worst headache I've ever had and then vomited for the next 8 hours. As my alarm went off, there I was, sitting on the bathroom floor looking at my running clothes all laid out. There was absolutely no way I was going.

This has happened to me about 5 times in the last year and a half and after doing some research, I can only attribute it to dehydration maybe combined with stress? I've never had migraines before but I'm sure this is what they feel like. I'll guess I'll go see the doctor about it at this point along with all my other ailments. In the meantime, I'm drinking all the smart water and Powerade zero I can handle.

Tuesday, I didn't go to yoga because I looked like crap. What kind of excuse is that? Definitely not like me at all. I blamed that one on hormones but again, no excuse.

I'm being challenged and losing which makes me tired of fighting.

Am I meant to be the athlete I want to be? Maybe it's just not in the cards for some of us.

Am I stuck with my 200+ pounds body and that's just the way it is?
I don't know if I can accept that but I'm sure tired of dragging and extra person around with me. No wonder running is hard.

I'm not giving up. I don't have a choice if I want to live a long life with my amazing husband but it sure would be nice if it could be just a little easier.