Long week!

This week is just dragging by and it's a short one since I'm off Friday. It can't come soon enough.

I've been really down in the dumps again due to the usual crap. Each week I keep thinking something is going to happen to restore my optimism about my future but there's nothing happening. I continue to struggle to pay every bill but seem to work harder than ever. I know that so many people have it so much worse and I should be grateful to have a job etc. etc. but some days it really eats away at me. It doesn't help that I'm hungover from 4 beers I shouldn't have had last night but was necessary to get me through a really uncomfortable situation.

I had to go to a friends house for a get together since it's his little girls birthday and I missed the party over the weekend. The uncomfortable part? The way this little girl is taken care of breaks my heart. Her parents split up a couple of years ago and neither one of them want her. They take her a week at a time. I no longer speak to the mother so I'm not sure the situation over at her house but at her dad's it's not so pleasant. She was absolutely filthy from school and living out of a suitcase on the floor of her also filthy room. She turned 6 yesterday and I know 3 year olds that are more advanced and better behaved. She has obviously had developmental problems since she was a baby but no-one seems to give a crap. It's just hard for me to see and there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it. It's not my problem nor my right to step in unless she was really in danger.

I'm really not sitting on my ass waiting for some breakthrough on the career/financial front. I'm working on a few side projects that I've always wanted to do and hopefully one of those will be a "way out". I also think not having had a true vacation in over a year has taken it's toll on my spirits. I thought about switching up my anxiety meds but right now I owe the doctor $500 that I don't have for my last physical which insurance didn't cover. (our "director of administration" failed to note that part when she switched our insurance plan)

Sorry to be such a downer folks but it's all part of the roller coaster ride that is my life. Things I'm grateful for today? The best husband in the world, 2 sweet rescue mutts, great neighbors and my blog friends. Oh and the 3 day weekend coming up. Now if it would just hurry up and get here!

*Edited to say that I'm not weighing in this week. That's the last thing I need because I know I've gained this week. My gym bag has sat unused in the car since Monday. If this headache will go away, I'll go tonight. I think I need it to get out of this funk.