Yesterday I stayed home from work with the remains of some seriously annoying lower back pain and It's a good thing I did because a rejection email came yesterday from the job I've been waiting to hear about. I am seriously bummed.

I know why I didn't get the job. It's not something that's easy for me to talk about but it's time to admit it. I can have the best portfolio and personality out there but it's not going to change the fact that I'm a short, fat girl applying for an executive level job in the fashion industry. I should have know during the interview when I asked about the culture and was given the speech about the Divas and the designer clothes. The recruiter talked about it as if she was surprised herself since it was kids clothing but nonetheless, I saw those types wandering the halls and maybe even a snicker or two in my direction that I refused to believe at the time.

I was saying to my husband that unfortunately, people face the issue of prejudice every day. For most, it's something they cannot change like the color of their skin or their sexual orientation or a disability. Mine is something I CAN change and I'm ashamed of myself for doing it once and letting myself go again. I accomplished so much more in my size 10 jeans than in my 22's.

If anything, this has served as a big fat slap in the big fat arse. I had a little hissy-fit in my closet this morning and threw my nicely hung up waiting for second interview giant-sized black pants on the floor way behind the skinny clothes bins. Then I packed my gym bag for the first time in 2 weeks. It's the only plan 'b' I can think of.