I'm feeling much more sane today. Thank you all for your great advice on my fear associated with exercise. I'm going to go to the doctor (need to see a new one) and hopefully get referred to a cardiologist in my husbands office. I need to be a little easier on myself and wearing my heart rate monitor puts me a little more at ease. I don't ever get too close to my max. All these things will help me feel better. Getting closer to 40 here...about 8 more weeks I think!

Behold the paella (isn't she a beauty??)

This was so incredibly good (if I do say so myself). I was even proud of the way it looked. All the seafood is from the Farmers Market and it's expensive to make but worth it. Aside from the chorizo, it's actually quite healthy. If I were to make this just for us and not guests, I would use chicken chorizo to lighten it up more. I used Emeril's recipe and it was perfect. Now if only I had a commercial stove that could handle this I'd make it all the time. Mine almost melted.

Something about fall makes me want to cook. I have homemade chili for lunch today. I'm going to post my secret recipe because it's so easy, cheap and filling. I keep half in the fridge in single serving containers and freeze the rest (also in single serving containers)

What you need:
Trinity mix (onion, green pepper and celery) - I buy this pre-diced in the produce section which saves me time and waste.
Bag of shredded carrots
1lb. ground turkey breast
2 cans crushed tomatoes
2 cans spicy chili beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can black beans
minced garlic - frozen garlic cubes from Trader Joes have changed my life
Chili Powder
Crushed Red Pepper

What to do:
Cook trinity mix in 1 TBS olive oil until soft.
Add ground turkey breast and cook until brown. (You shouldn't have to drain it if you have lean breast)
Add Tomatoes
Drain kidney beans (leave liquid in all other beans) and add to pot
Add carrots (this is done simply to sneak in more veggies. Sometimes I use zucchini too!)
Add garlic
Add about 4 TBS chili powder
Add crushed red pepper to taste.

Bring to boil then simmer for an hour or 2. That's it!

People rave about my chili and most of it comes from cans. I also make a white bean chicken chili in the crock pot. We rotate the 2 chilis through most of the winter for lunches though my husband prefers the red stuff.

Today I saved my workout for after work since I heard a rumor the sun was going to come out. I haven't had enough sunlight lately so I'm going to go for a big walk tonight. The sun doesn't rise until I'm leaving for work this time of year so I need to keep doing what I feel like doing in terms of exercise. It's been rather liberating not forcing myself to stick to one particular thing. I'm also starting to THINK about affording the Y around the corner. With winter coming, that would help a great deal.

Hope everyone is having a good week! Thanks as always for your awesome advice!