I just went to the gym for 30 minutes and didn't work out.

I had to wait a little later to go because I had a call this morning and the place was packed. At 10am! I thought for sure the guy just hanging on the edge was about done with his swim but no. He just walked the length of the pool once every 1o minutes. I sat in the hot tub hoping that someone would be finished but 3o minutes later, I was still sitting there doing nothing. At this point my hair is wet and I only have my bathing suit, towel and flip flops so there's not a lot of options. I have to be somewhere at noon so I had no choice but to come home.

I guess it was the icing on the cake after stupidly stepping on the scale this morning, followed by a visit to the wild world of web for job postings of which there are 2. That combined with a failed attempt to exercise has me in a bad way today. Most of the time I'm so optimistic but today it seems like nothing is worth it. 3 weeks of 6 days a week at the gym has me less than 2 pounds down and I'm not sure if I can ever make enough money on my own. The old self doubt is creeping up on me again and has taken over my brain today.

It's 11 now and I have to shower and go out. I have accomplished nothing yet today but logging my calories and this great big whine fest. I'm hoping the rest of the day is a little better.

3:30 pm Updated to say my business partner gave me a huge kick in the ass and I feel better on the creative front. On the fat front, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things, and bought a bag of candy. I took a single bite on the way home and threw it out the window. Sorry for littering but this was couple thousand calorie disaster averted. Instead I'm making us a nice curry. Victory is mine (said in a Stewie voice)