I Be Trying

The title of today's post is inspired by one of my new pieces I purchased at the folk art festival. The artist was fabulous crazy and kept all of her money in her giant bra. She was so sweet and I talked to her for quite a while. She had hundreds of these "angels" that she makes and this one just spoke to me. Plus, I grew up in Florida so it was even more appropriate. I love folk art for the pure fact that someone can visualize and create something beautiful out of every day or discarded things.

Speaking of trying, my poor husband has been trying to lose 20lbs. and it just isn't happening. I manage his calories, he walks the dogs an hour each day plus goes to the gym every other day. He knows to drink water, eat healthy things throughout the day and he's even given up beer during the week. I've also been stuck for a few days but that's because it's that time of the month and I won't weigh again for a few days.

We both decided this morning that after next weekend's trip to Florida, we'll be going back on phase 1 of South Beach for 2 weeks. Right now we follow south beach phase 2 and I track it all through weight watchers online but I think that we still over do it on the carbs.

It's a constant struggle to eat the right things, get exercise, work full time, commute an hour each way, keep a clean house etc. etc. By the time I get home from the gym it's 8:00, we eat dinner and I'm falling asleep on the couch without having prepared anything for the next day.

At one point I considered lap band surgery but after reading blogs about it, gave up the idea immediately. I'd so much rather not eat something because I'm being healthy than not eat something because I'll throw it back up. I lost 100 pounds once before without it and I can do it again. Now that I'm 10 years older, it's not nearly as easy. At one point I weighed 145 pounds and was wearing a size 10 Gap jeans. For about one day.

I weighed about 170 when I met my husband and wearing size 14 Gap jeans. I was okay with that but needed some work. After we got married, we just ate and ate and drank and drank and now i sit here with 100 pounds (and a few more) to lose again.

I don't agree with the "fit and fat" concept at all. I feel like there are a few rare people in the world who REALLY are but I don't think that fat is healthy in any way. I believe I am fat and strong because I've completed THREE Breast Cancer 3 days which not everyone can do at 200 plus pounds. I just hate how I feel at this weight. My 5 foot frame just can't handle it. I also worry about my health. My dad always struggled with his weight and died of a heart attack at 49. I feel great when I work out. I feel great when I look good in cute clothes.

Thankfully I have my awesome gym and my water aerobics class. My husband is a constant source of support even when I can't get my fat ass out of bed to walk with him and the dogs. I have great friends who also struggle (except for of course my co-worker who weighs 90 pounds and eats peas as a snack!)

I have everything I need to succeed. That's why I keep trying everyday.