Thank you all so much for all of your sweet comments. It helps me SO much and I find it funny how I want to do well for you all as much as I want to for myself. I like to have good news to report in my blog but I promised myself in the beginning that I would be totally honest about what's going on in my life. Even the bad days!

So I decided to survey the damage from the chocolate chip cookie disaster by getting on the scale this morning. I weigh 4 pounds more than I did last Friday. Cue the tears again. I was actually trying to convince myself I worked really hard this week but if I was to be really honest with myself, I didn't. Sure, I made a few good decisions but I made some bad ones too. I'm the queen of denial. Must be the 13 years of Catholic school.

Can I just say that if my coworker mentions the fact that she has a half day and is going to her husbands company picnic one more time I'm going to slap her? It's the only sunny day we've had in a million years and I'm stuck here at my desk with the promise of another rainy weekend.

After another morning in tears, I'm listening to BBC World on the way into work and hearing this horrible story about a family fleeing Pakistan that had to leave their son behind because he had polio and couldn't make the journey. They left him with some bread and water and are just hoping that he lives. Kinda puts things into perspective and it gave me the slap in the face I deserved for being a big fat whiner.

I have to keep going and I have to keep up! My husband hit normal BMI the other day and has been running a LOT. I'm so happy for him but I don't want to be left behind. I'm packed and ready for butt kicking night at the gym which will be 30-40 minutes on the treadmill and then my water aerobics class. I'm making a promise to myself to do 6-7 days of gym workouts instead of the 2-3 I've been doing. I was counting my 20 minute dog walk in the morning as a workout and that is mostly spent letting the dogs sniff around and pee on everything. So, it's either work out more or develop a cocaine habit which is probably way more expensive than a trainer, not to mention dangerous and illegal :)

I hope everyone has a great weekend and that it's sunny where you live! I will be going to our new farmers market, a garden festival, and to see Star Trek. I heart Simon Pegg!!!

How much did she lose this week?

This box of Franken Berry cereal YUM!
-.6 pounds

I'll admit I'm a little frustrated with the slow weight loss because I've really been pushing myself when it comes to exercise. I've been so sore all week. I owe it all to the weekend eating and drinking and I guess it could have been a lot worse. Still. Going. Down.

Next Wednesday I WILL hit that 5% mark. We have no social obligations this weekend and plan on doing some extra exercise. I'm really seeing the transition happening in our transitional neighborhood and there are lots of fun things going on like a new farmers market and a garden club festival. It would be really nice if the sun would ever decide to shine on a Saturday or Sunday!

Even though I'm down about the slow loss, I had a great NSV today. I feel like I just got engaged because I've been looking at my left hand all morning. My engagement ring fits again!!! I haven't worn it in well over a year and it's so embarrassing when people ask me why I don't wear a ring! I'd almost rather say my husband was too cheap to buy me one than admit it doesn't fit! That wouldn't be fair to him though because he did indeed buy me this gorgeous ring from the Orkney Islands off the Northeast cost of Scotland. He was so happy to see me wearing it again and I promised him I would add the wedding band for my next goal. It's very wide and hard to bend my finger if it's even a little tight.

My husband is going out tonight and I get to have whatever I want for dinner. Immediately I was dreaming of all the delicious things I could enjoy alone at home in front of the TV. The world of drive-thrus awaited! In reality, I'm starting my new week by going to my water aerobics class followed by a trip to Fresh Market for some sushi.

Things are really changing. There wasn't a question as to whether or not I would blow it out during my alone time. The answer was no right away...not even a small argument with myself!

How much did she lose this week?

The British PREMIERE Gift Basket from Amazon. (This one is in honoUr of my sweet Scottish husband who is so encouraging)

5.8 pounds!

All those fabulous gourmet cheeses and short breads came off my body! :)

The meeting was really good and I got my little gold 5lb. sticker. I told my co-worker that the meeting is kind of like elementary school for fat ladies. I, being one of those fat ladies, proudly put my sticker on my bookmark just like when I would put my scratch n sniff stickers on my folder when I was little.

There were 2 annoying girls there who talked a lot to each other. One was teeny tiny and complaining of a gain after 4 months of Boot Camp 6 days a week. I guess everyone has their issues!

I love Weight Watchers because I haven't felt the slightest bit deprived. I even had Pizza on Saturday - I just worked it in. I make good choices and I track every single thing that goes in my mouth. I ate 4 almonds yesterday which I logged and found out is half a Point. The more I log my points the easier it is because everything I enter is saved.

Here are some things that are changing after only 2 weeks:
1. No more heartburn. I haven't had a Tums since Day one.
2. In my dreams I'm active and jumping around instead of stressed out.
3. Clothes fit better already.
4. Biggest Loser Yoga is getting easier (still a killer though)
5. I'm taking more time to look better.

Things I need to do better on this week:
1. More veggies
2. More exercise
3. More water

Right now I'm drying off my water shoes by my desk heater because I left them outside during the snow storm and they are frozen solid. The old me would have used that as an excuse not to go to my class tonight. That's a great one actually..."I can't go to water aerobics because my water shoes are wet." Thank goodness I'm changing my ways!

Diving back in - again!

I finally made it back to my water aerobics class after a months absence. It's just been too cold to be in the water but it seems to be warming up enough so that it's bearable. As usual, all my friends were happy to see me which is a great reason to keep going.

It was my favorite instructor who really explains what you're supposed to be feeling and I made a point to push myself extra hard. I'm really sore today but in a good way of course! I wore my heart rate monitor and I got it up just as high as if I was on the elliptical. I need to figure out how the calories burned works out in the water. Apparently it's a bit different.

My husband was so excited he made a great dinner last night since I don't get home until 8 from my class. He's perfected our turkey pasta sauce and I had a double portion after the huge workout. Trader Joes has their whole wheat pasta with flax now for 49¢ and we eat that at least once a week. 6 grams of fiber in a serving of that and it's delicious. He even made a double batch of sauce so we can freeze it for next week. He even asked me to teach him more meals so that he can have dinner ready when I get home. How sweet is that? I'm so lucky for all the support I have from him. He's been strutting his stuff around the house because he's lost 11 pounds! More importantly I taught him to do his BMI on the scale and he's down 1% in just a week or so. I feel proud when I feed us well and apparently he does too. It's working well for both of us.

Better get my (sore) butt in gear for a busy day!

Lazy weekend

I survived my first week and did reasonably well. I ate way too much over the weekend but I learned a few things from my mistakes. Like not having any chocolate in the house at all even though it's portion controlled dark chocolate. Lets just say there was an incident.

I was SO incredibly sore from my Friday night water aerobics class that I didn't do much exercise either. I worked myself extra hard and it felt great. Once it's not freezing and raining I'll be much more inclined to exercise on the weekend outdoors with my husband and the dogs. Something to look forward to!

According to the scales I put back on 2 pounds over the weekend but I'm not going to record weight daily this week nor am I going to obsess about it. That's only for the first week "honeymoon" pounds :) Friday will be my weigh in day from now on.

Once again I have meals planned for the whole week and I've even switched over to greek yogurt with frozen berries instead of my loaded with Aspertame old standby. I'm really liking it.

Tonight is water aerobics again which I can't fathom as I sit shivering at my desk right now. Hopefully I can get as great of a workout with the Monday night instructor even though he talks too much to the old ladies. It's making me feel great to back in the pool again so I will carry on.

Hope everyone has a fantastic week!!


Have y'all seen Ruby yet? I finally caught the first episode and have the new one saved to watch sometime this week. This woman totally won me over in the first 10 minutes. She was all could think about all night. She was in my dreams and she was the first thing I thought about when I woke up. Eww, I sound like a stalker but it's not like that I swear!

I think what struck me about her is she's just so normal. She's sweet, funny, and has an amazing support system of friends and family who love her just as she is but know that she has to lose weight or she won't be alive much longer. She wants to lose the weight not just for looks but to able to do the things she wants to do. I guess I could say she's like me.

Thanks to Ruby I'm inspired to have a good week ahead. I even cooked all day yesterday to make it easier. I made a delicious pot roast with vegetables in the crock pot which we will have leftover of tonight, pasta sauce with ground turkey, egg salad for lunch, packaged up cottage cheese and peaches etc.

I find that once all these things are done I have less of excuse to skip my water aerobics class. It's going to be a very cold week here which is already going to make it difficult to go but I need to remember sweet Ruby who got in the pool despite being so large she had to wear a dress in the water. She just laughed about it being pinned together between her legs like a baby onesie. Bless her heart and may we all share her strength to become the active, healthy people we are on the inside.

Goals - fit for 40

I've never been one for setting goals for myself but I feel like the older I get the more they really work for me. I've been trying to get through the things I don't like to do by making myself focus on one thing a week. Then I don't get overwhelmed at the idea of a weeks worth of things I hate like dealing with finances and general boring grownup life stuff.

Keeping up with this blog has helped me so much with my attitude. I feel like I can really do this again so I've set some goals that may be big, but I've done it all before and I can do it all again.

My 40th birthday is a little over a year away. I'm not worried about turning 40 but it's a milestone nonetheless. It also marks the age (for me personally) where there's no turning back as far as having kids are concerned but that's an issue for another day.

I've been thinking a lot about where I want to be when this birthday comes and it certainly doesn't involve being fat. For some reason I feel like if I'm still fat at 40 then I always will be. Certainly people over 40 lose weight all the time but it's gotten so much harder for me now than when I was young that I can't let it get any worse.

My goal is to lose 100lbs by August 7th. That's just a little bit over 2lbs. a week. The reason for this date is I've decided I have to walk the 3-Day again (before the birthday) and this year will be doing it in Chicago. I can just imagine crossing the finish line in my favorite city 100 pounds lighter. One of my friends that lives there works for Oprah so you never know...I might even get to meet her and tell her my story : )

I realize this is a huge undertaking and while I may not reach my numbers goal, I think it's a good one. Like I said I've done it all before and I can do it all again.

Meanwhile, my goal for the week is to drink my water, track my food and go back to my water aerobics class. So far so good!

Look out swimmers, this fat girl is diving back in.

Happy Friday!

Wow this has been a long week but I'm pretty impressed with myself for staying on track. My gym bag is packed and I will be doing one hour of cardio/abs tonight then going to my water aerobics class for another hour. This will be the first time I've ever set foot in a gym on a Friday night but hopefully it will help make my weekends more successful. If I keep up this exercise I can afford my splurges.

Speaking of splurges, last nights dinner was incredible. We went to Kevin Rathbun's Steak (the Rathbun brothers recently won Iron Chef America) and I think it was the best meal I've had in this city and I've been here 15 years. I had a roasted beet salad with creamy goat cheese, followed by scallops florentine and half of an amazing chocolate mousse cake. My husband had the best steak I've ever put in my mouth. We got to meet Kevin Rathbun who came to our table. When he asked what we thought of the food I told him I could taste the love that went in it. He's a very large man and wrapped his arms around his belly said "i've got a lot of love to give". LOL

Aside from the bread, wine and dessert, I did pretty well and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Tomorrow we are going to the mountains in NC for a visit with my mom. We'll spend the night and come back on Sunday. The dogs love it up there because they can run free as much as they want. It's also a great place for all of us to go for a walk together.

Have a great weekend everyone! I don't post on the weekends because I'm chained to this computer all day during the week and don't like to look at it on the weekend :)

Exercise = happiness

I finally feel like I had a successful day yesterday!

I ate great all day yesterday and wasn't even tempted by a mini Twix that is still laying on my desk. I stayed within my points and even had 2 pieces of garlic bread with the delicious Jambalaya my husband made.

I talked myself in to going back to my water aerobics class after 5 weeks of being absent and it was so awesome. My 2 friends I have made in the class were so happy to see me which made it even more rewarding. I worked my butt off and had to get up in the middle of the night to take some Advil because my arms were BURNING. I feel great today though. Not too sore. The best thing about water aerobics is that even fat girls can feel like ballerinas. You can do moves in the water you'd never be able to do on land! It's such a free feeling that I really enjoy. It was a little cooler last night and dark when I left class which makes being wet not nearly as enjoyable as it was during the Hotlanta summer but I'll just have to adjust my post-swim wardrobe.

My plan is to go back Wednesday and adding in Fridays and Saturdays as well. One of my friends at the pool easily outweighs me by 50lbs but is there for every single class and has motivated me to come those additional days. Fridays I get out of work a little early which leaves time before class to add to my cardio minutes. I used to work out every day but Fridays but that's when I had social things on a Friday night. Now I just plop in front of the TV a half an hour earlier than normal and not take advantage of that little bit of extra time. Or worse, I stop at the store to load up on junk food for the weekend.

Note to self: remember how good you feel today next time you try to talk yourself out of exercising!!!

10 pounds down. Sounds like a fine time to start a blog.

I've read so many wonderful blogs about weight loss that I'm inspired to write my own. Those of you whose blogs I've read I promise to de-lurk one day.

I'm 5'0 and topped the scales at 261. Since I had already lost 100 pounds at one point in my life (more on that later) I know that exercise is the only thing that will make me lose weight. Period. I can diet and stay the same but have to add the exercise to lose. About 2 months ago in the dead middle of the summer heat with nothing to wear I decided to go to the gym that I pay for every month and never use.

The best thing about my gym is because my husband works at one of the big hospitals in town, they have a wonderful gym which is also for rehabilitation. I've never felt so comfortable in a gym in my life. No-one is there to show off. Everyone is there for a reason. It's so refreshing.

After about a week of lurking outside the door of the pool (I'm such a lurker!) trying to see if the water aerobics class I wanted to try
a. looked like I could stand without drowning due to my 5 footness (check)
b. wasn't full of skinny people in bikinis (check)
c. looked doable for a newbie (check)

I had already bought a really nice, expensive plus size Speedo swimsuit months earlier in hopes of one day getting up the nerve to "dive in". *note: don't ever try water aerobics in a cheap suit. I've seen many ladies pop right out of them.

So I did it. I dove in. I put on my bathing suit and a smile and got in the pool. I immediately made a friend, the class was so butt-kicking awesome, and I haven't stopped going. For 2 WHOLE MONTHS. Now I've lost 10 pounds just from going to the class 2 or 3 days a week and it's time to kick it up a notch as Emeril would say.

I think this blog will be good for me. I need to work through some anxiety and eating issues but I've tried therapy and it does nothing for me. The reason it doesn't is I'm happy. Not happy with my body but happy with everything else in my life. I think that's a great start and now we'll work on this body thing....again!